Roewan’s Neighborhood

Isak Dinesen on Dreaming

From Out of Africa:

People who dream when they sleep at night know of a special kind of happiness which the world of the day holds not, a placid ecstasy, and ease of heart, that are like honey on the tongue. They also know that the real glory of dreams lies in their atmosphere of unlimited freedom. It is not the freedom of the dictator, who enforces his own will on the world, but the freedom of the artist, who has no will, who is free of will.

The pleasure of the true dreamer does not lie in the substance of the dream, but in this: that there things happen without any interference from his side, and altogether outside his control. Great landscapes create themselves, long splendid views, rich and delicate colours, roads, houses, which he has never seen or heard of. Strangers appear and are friends or enemies, although the person who dreams has never done anything about them. The ideas of flight and pursuit are recurrent in dreams and are equally enrapturing. Excellent witty things are said by everybody. It is true that if remembered in the daytime they will fade and lose their sense, because they belong to a different plane, but as soon as the one who dreams lies down at night, the current is again closed and he rememebers their excellency.

All the time the feeling of immense freedom is surrounding him and running through him like air and light, an unearthly bliss. He is a privileged person, the one who has got nothing to do, but for whose enrichment and pleasure all things are brought together; the Kings of Tarshish shall bring gifts.

...The thing which in the waking world comes nearest to a dream is night in a big town, where nobody knows one, or the African night. There too is infinite freedom: it is there that things are going on, destinies are made round you, there is activity to all sides, and it is none of your concern.

The melancholy of old address books

So I was just now doing my Christmas cards (for the first time in two years, or three, but that's another story) and thinking as I worked through them that I really need to get a new address book.

This one is plain black and ugly, but that's not the reason. It has plenty of usefulness left in it, plenty of blank spaces yet. The problem with it is it makes me sad. So many of the people listed in it have died. Grandma, four uncles, five aunts, a cousin, my brother-in-law, my father-in-law. My father. My mother.

To go on with I need a new address book, a pretty new address book.

The first address book I ever had was very pretty. I bought it from the "Tom Watt Showcase" fundraiser when I was in high school. It was Sunrise Orange with white daisies on it. But a few years ago (ten? No, more like fifteen) my husband copied the good addresses into this black book and threw away my orange one. He didn't realize I was sentimentally attached to that book. But then, even if we'd kept using it, I'd still have the same problem today. Even pretty address books make a person sad when enough years have flown.

Anyway, that's how we got this no-longer-new black one, and we've soldiered along with it all this time. In it you can trace the peregrinations of my best friend as she took up various residences after college, then went into the air force, then married, lived here and there, then built a house. I crossed out the addresses of couples who have divorced, once-friends who vanished, and people I can't say I actually know anymore.

But here's a good thing: recently I discovered among my high school souvenirs a blank address book that's a twin to my first one: this one is pale grey with wisteria instead of orange with daisies, but it's the genuine Tom Watt Showcase article. It makes me feel fourteen again, only smart.

I'm going upstairs right this second to get it and I'm going to fill it full of friends and dear ones who are still around to receive what I send them. I won't forget the people whose names will no longer appear in it--there's no danger of that, so long as I remember who I myself am. But their addresses are Heaven now and their names are written in a different book.

May your memories of happy Christmases Past deepen and strengthen the warmth of Christmas Present and the hope of Christmas Future, and may your address book always be full.

Big Girl Petra

Janette
Dec 8, 2009
Post a comment

Petra's looking and sounding disconcertingly grown-up these days. She says quite complex things now, mixing and matching her words to make an ever-increasing number of grammatically correct sentences. And she's becoming more intelligible all the time - even strangers can pick up some of what she says. She still has her idiosyncrasies though. Her butt is a bumby for reasons best known to herself and water is wawy. She's also fond of glottal stops, shoving them in the middle of words like cat ( ca'at) and using them in the place of the t in words like Petra (Pe'a).

She's grasped the concept of I - I will do it, I will get it, I don't want it - and moved on to me and mine. My daddy, my nanny, my shoes, my dress. She's been pretty good about sharing stuff to this point but that might change...

And she's in that wonderfully loving toddler stage. She loves her people, giving everyone, even the reluctant teenagers of her acquaintance, big open-mouthed, toothy kisses and agitating to visit her rellies as often as possible. We were at the bank the other day, re-fixing our mortgage which involved signing a huge stack of paper. I had to do the paperwork with a kissy, cuddly Petra standing on my knee with her back against my shoulder, one arm around my neck, and her head resting against mine. She was a lovely distraction from the pain of signing our lives away for our house.

Petra with pasta

Shut-in Mum

Janette
Dec 1, 2009
Post a comment

This poor mum had a really really bad day yesterday. Living with a toddler is dangerous!

Happy Monday/Sunday

Janette
Dec 1, 2009
Post a comment

A great video for "I've got a feeling" by the Black Eyed Peas (as found by my sister).

Black Eyed Peas - I got a feeling

Photo Shoot

Janette
Nov 30, 2009
2 comments

Petra's very difficult to photograph these days - she runs away, makes faces, charges over to grab the camera, says "no photos", and generally does her best to avoid being flashed at. I don't blame her; I don't much like people sticking cameras in my face either. But I persist. And here she is posing in her glam glasses and hat, and her fancy dress.

At the Cricket

Janette
Nov 29, 2009
Post a comment

The test between New Zealand and Pakistan was very evenly poised going into the last day, so we spent another afternoon in the sun at the Oval.

New Zealand 235

New Zealand 236

Petra lasted a couple of hours, hours during which it seemed that New Zealand was going to be batted out of the game. The Pakistani contingent in the crowd got increasingly vocal and active, running around the ground with flags waving. The wickets didn't start falling until after we got home - I listened on the radio as the New Zealand fast bowlers whipped through the final five batsmen. I bet the Pakistani crowd got quieter while the NZ supporters became rowdier and rowdier.

New Zealand 232-1

New Zealand 230-2

Cricket has gone into a decline in New Zealand during my years overseas. Watching New Zealand play recently has required a special kind of masochism. Until yesterday, they hadn't won a test match for a year. The poor results have led to a huge drop in attendance at matches. I used to go to Carisbrook along with 10 to 20 thousand others. Yesterday, we were at the University Oval (a much smaller ground) as part of a crowd of just over 2200. It was fun and atmospheric even so - but the reduced crowds are a bit alarming.

Summer

Janette
Nov 25, 2009
Post a comment

It's been slow coming but summer has finally arrived. I know because the first cricket test of the season started yesterday. We've had a few days of fabulous weather as well. We celebrated by going to the cricket for a couple of hours this afternoon.

I used to go to the odd cricket match when I were a lass, but it's a whole different ballgame with a toddler along. Cricket's a contemplative kind of game that unfolds gradually and you need to pay attention to pick up the subtleties. Petra's not so big on contemplation or subtlety - she's more about talking and dancing and climbing on us. She had a fun time clapping along with the crowd, eating everything she could lay her hands on, demanding repeated applications of sunscreen, and trying to flirt with the people sitting around us (it didn't seem to faze her that they were a tough crowd, mostly old guys and students, who weren't particularly interested in her dance moves).

While we were picnicking and playing with Petra the Blackcaps' batsmen survived a few nasty blows to the head and body and managed to bat through to the last ball before lunch without losing a wicket. Travis and I only got intermittent looks at the play but I enjoyed the sound of bat on ball and what bowling and shot making I did see.

Big Brother is Watching

Janette
Nov 21, 2009
8 comments

After reading an article about Google's sprawling influence and the sheer amount of information it gathers, I went to google.com to check my cookie settings (click privacy on the home page, then Ads Preference Manager). Here's the list of ad categories linked to me. Some of their choices are a bit random, but on the whole Google knows me disconcertingly well.

Your interests

Below you can edit the interests that Google has associated with your cookie:

Summer

Janette
Nov 20, 2009
Post a comment

We had the first really warm day of spring/summer today. Petra took the chance to get her gear off and run around naked first at our house and then at Nanny's house. She's recently turned into a mini naturist and getting her to keep her clothes on for any length of time is almost impossible - luckily she's chosen the warmest time of year for it.

Before she quit wearing clothes for the day, I managed to take a couple of photos of her in her sunhat and glasses looking like a lady on her way to the races.